up with autumn

I hold a most unpopular opinion of autumn. I don't love it. See what I mean? You just thought, "What kind of crazy person DOESN'T like fall?" I know you did.

But as I sit sun-soaked, staring at newly brilliant hues of autumn leaves set against the clearest Carolina blue sky with windows and doors flung wide, insanity seems a fitting diagnosis. If I can't call this perfection then my percept-o-meter needs some serious re-calibration. So it's not really that.

Winter annoys me. I kid you not, the very thought of it sends shivers all up and down me timbers. I can't help it. This little body of mine wasn't made to function well in frigid temps and don't you dare tell me to "put some meat on your bones." Sheesh, if I had a quarter... It's not that simple and I'm likely to pound YOU for such ludification so don't try me. 

Therefore, my story has always been this: It's not that I don't like fall, it's just that I hate what's coming just around the corner so I have trouble enjoying it when I know I'll be miserable soon. And therein lies the real heart of the matter. It's my own stinkin' inability to fully live in the moment with gratitude for the gift it brings. Granted, some moments require deep digging. But, come ON. Days like today are low hanging fruit. So, why let thoughts of tomorrow's potential pain dump buckets of (freezing) rain on today's perfect parade? I mean, seriously.....

For now, I will join my cats on the bedroom floor for a little nap in the afternoon autumn sun. Tomorrow's winter woes will take care of themselves. And who knows? By that time, perhaps I will have mastered this fine discipline of gratitude to the point of actually enjoying a romp in the snow. Seems unlikely, but why not dream big?

mid century modern double danish love

What happens when your buddy summons you to Raleigh for design assistance on her gorgeous master bedroom redecorating project? You go. You shop. You listen. You give your opinion. You listen some more. You watch her buy. 

And then you pick up a little something for yourself. 

And so it went for me. Our Saturday morning trek to the fairgrounds flea market netted me the steal of the (mid) century, as I snagged myself two amazing Danish modern chairs for a mere $50 each! "Where to put them when you live in a condo full of someone else's furniture" was tomorrow's worry. Schlepping them back to Charlotte in my teeny tiny Mini Cooper was the immediate challenge at hand, but nothing that the nice man who sold them to me and I couldn't overcome together.

Some mineral spirits and 2 coats of Refurbish brought the beautiful finish back to their sexy arms and legs.

 

Richie gives his official "Green-eyed monster seal of approval."

Our landlords recently reclaimed 2 of their chairs from the condo, creating the perfect space in our living room for these Danish beauties. I found e what I wanted from my friends at Modern Fabrics, Larry Dellinger waved his magic re-upholstery wand for me one more time, and this is what emerged.....

For a total investment of less than $550, I got two new modern classics that look like a million bucks and will last well into the middle of this new century!

beauty from ashes

Friday, September 7, 2001 was a spectacular day in NYC. I was visiting my dear friend, Lynette, and we happily began our morning with a HOT NOW donut at the new Krispy Kreme on the first floor of the World Trade Center. To this day, I still laugh about the "coffee incident" (one of many, over our many years of friendship) when Lynette was forced to relinquish control of her cup as they insisted on adding cream and sugar FOR YOU behind the counter before handing over to their customers. It could've been quite ugly but she was gracious, as is always true. Or, at least, that is how I'm choosing to remember it. (Old friends can joke this way, OKAY??) We savored every bite, licked the last of the icing off our lips and she continued her subway journey across the Hudson to her office as I set out to shop and explore.

Our extended weekend of adventure came to a close on Monday evening. Storms rolled in and my plane waited them out on the runway at Laguardia. They were threatening to close the airport but we got out just in the nick of time. I wasn't worried, though, as I had a free place to stay another night if that happened. 

Back in Charlotte the next morning I rolled in to my office, only to find my co-workers staring in stunned silence at the TV screen. The Twin Towers were ablaze and the hellish destruction was just beginning. I imagined what was happening that moment at the Krispy Kreme, as surely the patrons were now running for their lives. Lives that were forever affected. Harrowing stories of tragedy emerged alongside countless acts of heroism and help. People came together as true brothers and sisters to carry each other's burdens. Party lines were crossed as we chose for a brief moment to identify ourselves only as Americans, united in a true state of cooperation. 

And what emerged was, indeed, beautiful.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore, we will not fear,
even though the earth be removed,
and though the mountains be carried
into the midst of the sea.
Though its waters roar and be troubled,
though the mountains shake
with its swelling,
there’s a river
whose streams shall make glad
the City of God,
the holy place of the Tabernacle
of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her.
She shall not be moved.
God shall help her
just at the break of dawn.
The nations raged,
the kingdoms were moved.
He uttered his voice.
The earth melted.
The Lord of Hosts is with us.
The God of Jacob is our refuge.
Come behold the works of the Lord
who has made desolations in the Earth.
He makes wars cease
to the ends of the Earth.
He breaks the bough
and cuts the spear in two.
He burns the chariot in fire.
Be still and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations.
I will be exalted in the Earths.
The Lord of Hosts is with us.
The God of Jacob is our refuge.

- Psalm 46

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

A year ago we unloaded our home of 16 years and loaded most of our earthly possessions into storage. Then we sent ourselves and our cats packing, to live in a rented condo full of someone else's stuff. Lovely stuff but not OUR stuff. 

I've struggled to straddle the line. Living fully in the moment (with contentment) while still pursuing the dream of something different is a graceful dance of discipline. My own timeline for this journey would been much shorter but pesky little details like unemployment and major career changes (yet another pursuit of another dream) have caused us to shift our focus. Only one pot at a time can cook on that big front left burner, right? The other pots must submit and simmer slowly.

Left to our own devices, most of us tend to slide in the direction of discontent and ungratefulness. I know I do, and I've been around long enough to realize I'm not that different from the rest of you. Imagine attempting your yoga practice in the highest most slippery heels on a newly varnished hardwood floor. As much as I love my stilettos, I'm smart enough to know that nothing good can come from a silly decision like that! Only with feet laid bare on the sticky mat foundation of trust can we live firmly and joyfully with whatever has been given to us in this moment, secure in the knowledge that the One who loves us can also be trusted for each moment ever after.

"We take the moments as bread and give thanks and the thanks itself becomes bread. The thanks itself nourishes. Thanks feeds our trust." -Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts.

So I proceed with hands open, holding loosely to my dream with the knowledge that it could come to pass exactly as I imagine. Or not. But it will be exactly as it is supposed to be.

ready. aim. fire(ish)

Lately, Thoreau's words, "In the long run, we only hit what we aim at" has occupied some choice real estate in the forefront of my mind. The quote is not new to me but it's really pestering me now, restlessly following me around like my cats in the hour before their next feeding. Truth is, I find the whole idea behind his words somewhat annoying because they seem to contradict the whole notion of contentment, an important personal value that also stalks me yet often slips through my fingers just when I think I have it firmly in my grasp.


Don't expect me to unpack and neatly re-fold something here that great thinkers have pondered for centuries. That's not the point of my little blog. However, in THIS particular instance, I believe that catatonic is all too easily masked as patience and contentment, and the culprit behind this suspended existence is FEAR. And living in fear is pretty scary. Let's not do that, okay?


So, while we aren't ready to charge full speed ahead, a house on Cavendish Court is still believed to be the bull's eye and we are ready to proceed "as if" it is so. Certain circumstances have required us to make some shifts in our expectations but such roadblocks could potentially make for a more interesting and creative Crossing Providence experience, if you ask me!

I invite you to journey along. Maybe my story will provide some of you with a little shot of inspiration that will move you closer to your own personal target. Wouldn't that be nice.....:-)

winter blues

The dark days of winter has cast it's sleepy spell on me but there's a hint of spring in the air and I feel myself coming back to life again! Stay tuned. I see more posts on the horizon!

i'm so blue-hoo-hoo

It's mid-winter and most of us are housebound and feeling a bit cabin-feverish. One coping mechanism is to take advantage of those great post-holiday sales at the mall. Even better, after your little rascals are tucked in to bed, sit down with a glass of wine in front of the old computer screen and on-line shop until you drop off to sleep at your desk (or right there in your bed if you've taken your laptop with you).

Of course, I'm (half) joking here. Anyone who knows me understands that I enjoy procurement as much, or more, as the next person and I HAVE actually made a few such purchases in the last few weeks. (Let the records show that I was definitely NOT under the influence of any mind-altering substance when I did it.)

However, like one of my favorite Veggietales characters, Madame Blueberry, I understand that a trip to the Stuffmart doesn't produce a heart of real contentment and certainly isn't the real cure for wintertime blues. 

Right now I am working with a client who has hired me to finish decorating her house, after several stops and starts over the last few years. She's unhappy that not a single room is complete, so she feels unsettled and unhappy there. But before we can add, we must subtract, organize and take inventory of what she truly loves that should be kept. Like some of you, perhaps, my client is discouraged and overwhelmed by the many piles that have taken up residence in her home. Therefore, she is frozen, with no idea where to start. It's a little like sitting on the front row at the movies. The picture is SO huge and out of focus that it's impossible to take it all in without getting a headache.

Maybe you don't have the need, desire and/or the resources to tackle a "whole house" project like this. But I feel certain that everyone has SOMETHING that's bugging them at home and these dark and dreary days of winter provide us with a perfect opportunity to make some progress. So, here are some ideas to get you started on some bite-sized projects of your own. Little "wins" are empowering and can often spur you on to bigger things. Maybe start with something from my list and then add your own items.

• Magazines and catalogs - Gather up every single one of them from every part of your house and put them into one ginormous pile. (My client had accumulated 200-300 of them over the last 5 years. Don't judge. It could happen to you, I promise......) IMMEDIATELY get rid of the catalogs, unless you know there's something you want to buy from a current issue. I do occasionally save pictures from catalogs for inspiration but there is rarely any good reason to save an entire catalog for more than a month. With the magazines, force yourself to go through very quickly and reduce them by at least 50%. Then commit to making your way through the rest of the pile over the next week or two. Flip through quickly, maybe tear out a few pages that you want to keep, and then get them OUT of your house. I try to find someone who wants them before I recycle, but that's just me.
• Your closet - If the whole thing is just too much to handle, then tackle it one element at a time. Take an hour to go through your shoes, for example. Force yourself to purge what you haven't worn and will likely never wear. If they're out of style or they hurt your feet, get RID of them. Now is not the time to wallow in the guilt of buyer's remorse. Find a friend who can wear them, donate them or, if they're high-end and in great shape, and you're really ambitious you can try to consign them. Set a goal to reduce the total number by maybe 30%. Then come back a day or two later and do it again.
• The dreaded family photos - When we moved here to the condo, I brought all our photos thinking that this would be a great project to tackle and, believe it or not, I have made huge progress. I have sorted through 1,000+ and have them organized in 3 Tupperware photo tubs by date, or at least as close to that as I can get. I purchased a Groupon for one of the "scan your photos" places and got 500 of them put on a CD. Some of you may want to take it a step further but for me at this point, and after so many years, I say forget the romantic notion of photo albums!! Who really looks at them anyway? Now, if I want to find an old picture from a particular event, it's pretty easy because I at least have them fairly ordered.
• The dreaded digital photos - Yeah, now that I rarely print a photo, I just stick them into iPhoto and forget about it. And the grand total over the last few years comes in at almost 10,000. TEN FREAKIN' THOUSAND!!! That's messed up. So for the last couple of months I've taken 30 minutes here and there to wade through that disaster. At last count, I had it whittled down to about 8,000. Still embarrassing so I will continue my efforts. And now I'm committed to to process of editing each time I download a new batch of photos. 
• If you have 15-20 minutes of dead time in your day, open up a drawer or a cupboard in any room and get rid of something. Commit to reducing first and then go back and organize later.
• Alterations - I have a stack of clothes that need some sort of adjustment. A few items have been in that pile for a year or more. I'm fortunate enough to know how to sew and can do much of it myself but the the bad news is that I really don't LIKE to do it! But recently, I made myself drag out the old sewing machine and my goal is to finish them all by the end of February or to take what I realistically cannot do myself to my alterations guy, Mike. Or, get rid of it and forget about it.

So, go forth and conquer!

change is gonna do you good

Once I overcame my holiday decorating ambivalence and put up the tree, I managed to drain every drop of pleasure from it's fake plastic branches. Each morning I looked forward with great anticipation to the ceremonial re-lighting and kept it lit untiI I stumbled into the bed at night. My face lit up brighter than the tree itself when it greeted me with a sparkly "welcome home" every time I walked through the front door and, for the first time since moving, I felt literally drawn in to that room by the tree's magnetic force.

I grew so attached to it's magical presence that I couldn't bring myself to take it down, and I was beginning to wonder if I might become one of those eccentric old ladies who mixes gaudy tinsel and garland with the sound of summer cicadas? (I have cats in multiples, so it's already a short walk to Crazytown, according to the general population.)

On January 5th, the day before I summoned the emotional fortitude to finally pull the plug and say my goodbyes, I had my own mini-epiphany. It was about familiarity and change. HUH?

In some ways, I'm piggy-backing on my last post about tradition and such. The sight of our own pretty ornaments nestled in the branches of that familiar fake tree gave me such comfort and connection to a real sense of home there in that beautiful room filled with someone else's furniture. And, while familiarity can sometimes breed contempt, boredom or laziness, in this case it was calming to me and actually became fertile soil for hope. 

And that same room with someone else's furniture became my creative playground. My inner-decorator doesn't get to come out and play much right now, so tweaking the tree to make it fit with the style and color scheme (see my last post) was enough to scratch my itch without spending a penny.

January can create the perfect storm, if you're bored with your present surroundings but your post-Christmas pocketbook won't allow you to tackle a total "torch-it-and-transform-it" makeover. A couple gallons of paint or a couple of new throw pillows can sometimes get you past this winter slump. Or how about simply removing everything in a room that you don't really like (as long as it doesn't actually serve any real function)? 

I think I'm on to something. Maybe in my next post I'll throw out some simple transformation ideas to get you blooming from the inside out. Then before you know it, all of creation will follow your lead and you'll be surrounded by the sweet smell of spring.