a bounty of lessons to absorb

My huge mistake became evident when Mister G unwrapped the package of paper towels and put the first roll on the counter near me. I confess, I may have had a tiny tantrum, which may or may not have started with an expletive or two (#itdid), followed by some masterful blame shifting, “WHY DID YOU OPEN THE PACKAGE???? DIDN'T YOU SEE THEY WERE PRINTED????” Yes, I see what I did here. But clearly my screw up needed to be someone else's fault. #sigh

His response: “It’s okay! So we’ll get to look at printed paper towels for awhile. Maybe it’ll be GOOD for us. Haha.” The nerve.

Does he actually understand that the package I bought contains 12 select-a-size rolls and we are a tiny family of 2 who tries to limit our use (#savingtheplanet)??? This could go on for awhile and I don’t see how staring at these goofy printed paper towels that totally disrupt the carefully curated vibe of my pretty kitchen is going to HELP me. What's wrong with him?

Ok. So, is this really about the paper towels? I mean, seriously, it’s a $15 mistake. Give the stupid things to someone who doesn’t care what they look like and move the heck on with your life. But as I obsess reflect on this over the next couple of days, I realize there's probably a bigger issue behind the issue here. Ya think? What was up with the mini tantrum? They’re. Just. Paper. Towels. One thing I know from experience is that when my response to something is out of proportion to what actually happened, then it's probably time to do a little excavating. #bringouttheshovel

I got curious about the subject of blame shifting, took my search to the world wide web and learned a few things. My biggest takeaway was in the discovery that we sometimes blame shift when we ourselves don’t measure up to our own standards. I realized as I was leaving the Costco parking lot that I forgot the ONE most important item on my 5-item list (frozen mangos), which then cost me another 25 minutes of hassle by the time I went back and got them. So when I came home and discovered I had made yet another mistake, my angry outburst directed toward my G was really about my own irritation with myself. I mean, a 5-item grocery list ain't exactly rocket science.  Two trips to the store and I still couldn't get it right put me in perfect position for some warped thinking. Let's take a ride on the crazy train of self-loathing.

So it's a self-esteem issue, right? Well, yes.  And, no. I mean, I'm all in favor of positive self-affirmations (#iAMsomebody) and encouragement from others about how great I am (#yougogirl) but for me, that good news has to originate from a firmer foundation to resonate deeply and really stick. Like, for example, coming right from the God of the Universe, the center of my gravity, my very reason for being, the One who created me with His own imprint, who loves me with a love that transcends anything I can understand, and forgives me over and over and over. Yes, even when I buy stupid printed paper towels. Man, if I had a firm grip on that, I'd never feel like I need to blame anyone else for my mistakes because I am completely loved and accepted and nothing, no-thing, can separate me from it! Damn straight!!! (Did you know that's kind of another way of saying "amen?")

I haven't decided if I'll keep those paper towels just to see if I learn something from staring at them every day for, like, ever. Perhaps if I stare long enough, then look up at the ceiling and blink a few times I'll see the face of Jesus and he'll be saying, "Remember how much I love you." I think that only happens in stories I see on Facebook, though, so maybe I'll just pass them off to someone else and move on from this whole thing so I can free up this space in my mind to obsess reflect on other such matters of great significance. I'll tell you what, though. If I do stick with the uglies, I'm pretty sure I'll need to buy a single roll of whites. You know, for when company comes. #hidetheprintedtowels And oh, don't you know there's an issue behind that too but I've already put my shovel away for the night. 

get naked.

The after effects of winter, with all of it's holiday partying and dismal dark comfort-food-indulgent days has left us feeling thick and sluggish. I had one of those "enough is enough" moments so Saturday we decided to take on Round 2 of the Stark Naked 21-Day Metabolic Reset since we had such a great result last May when we gave it a go for the first time. 

First, I’ll let you read an excerpt from the “official” summary of the book, written by the people whose job it is to sell them. And then I’ll give you my 2 cents. Just for the record, I don’t stand to make a penny on what I say so there's no reason for me to overrate our experience. A number of people have asked me about it so I thought I’d get it all out here. One and done.

"You won’t lose weight or improve your health cutting calories and carbs or relying on longer and harder workouts. Those old school approaches are actually detrimental to your health. You’ve got to reset and optimize your metabolism.

In The Stark Naked 21-Day Metabolic Reset, fitness expert and co-founder of Stark fitness Brad Davidson shares his exclusive two-tiered program to help you feel great and perform at consistent peak level—with boundless energy that lasts.

Davidson begins by showing you how to repair your metabolism by reducing common stressors and removing food sensitivities and toxins that cause inflammation, weight gain and burn out. He then teaches you how to optimize your metabolism by safely reintroducing the right foods for you and learning how to carb cycle, a method of eating carbohydrates that enhances performance without health risks. Designed to withstand the hectic demands of modern life, The Stark Naked 21-Day Metabolic Resetincludes step-by-step meal plans and easy to follow recipes, without using any expensive, hard to find foods or complicated calculations. This is THE ultimate program for the high achiever on the go.

Get the results you’ve always wanted but never thought possible—The Stark Naked 21-Day Metabolic Reset is the lifestyle plan to help you take control of your health and fitness forever."

So here’s the thing: I’m not convinced that there is a “one size fits all” way to eat, though I believe there are certain agreed-upon commonalities. Everyone's going to tell you to eat more of the “good” vegetables and reduce your intake of alcohol, caffeine and sugar. After that, it’s a head-spinning free-for-all of one eating plan after another. For that reason, this may not be the silver bullet for you that it has been for us. But I would venture to say that anyone who tries it and sticks to it faithfully for the entire 21 days will emerge feeling different and better. And if you can stay on the maintenance program (the harder part), you’re golden. That’s the rub for most everyone, hence the need to repeat the reset once a year to get ourselves back on the wagon.

What can you expect? Not gonna lie, the first 3-5 days are pretty brutal. Caffeine withdrawal causes dizziness and headaches and the absence of sugar is guaranteed to make you hangry. Cravings are the WORST. And the brain fog is ridiculous so I wouldn’t recommend starting the week of that big career altering presentation….😳. Weight starts to shed immediately (from the dreaded jellyroll area) and for me, since I’m not overweight to begin with, it levels off after a week or so. But if you need to lose weight, it will continue for the entire 21 days. Cravings begin to die down after about 5 days and energy starts to pick up by the end of the first week. Supposedly, you’ll experience better sleep, which hasn’t really been the case for me (#sleepresistent) but there are other benefits that will keep you super motivated to keep on keeping on. 

Without going into every specific detail, your day will look like this: Hot water with lemon as soon as you get up, followed by a smoothie (lots of greens, some fruit and a fat) for breakfast. He provides a number of recipes for these in the book and they’re all quite tasty. We’ve settled on our 2-3 favorites keep repeating because it’s easy. After breakfast you sip on 1/4 cup unsweetened cranberry juice mixed with about 20 oz. of water until you finish that by lunch. It’s SUPER tart and takes some getting used to, but this is key. Lunch is protein and vegetables and a small amount of fat (quantities vary for men and women). Afternoon snack is about 20 oz. of green tea. Again, critical for getting you through from one meal to the next.  Dinner is protein/loads of vegetables and (insert angel voices) this is where you get approved carbs, such as rice, yukon potatoes, quinoa, sweet potatoes, and a fat. Again, quantities are different for men and women, but sometimes it's actually difficult to eat it all. He has some restrictions on several foods that aren’t “bad,” but they’re foods we tend to eat a lot and he thinks it’s valuable to take a break from them for these 21 days (blueberries, broccoli, beef, almonds, bananas, and a few others). There’s a required bedtime snack of either 1/2 cup full fat cottage cheese plus a fruit OR a handful of cashews and a piece of fruit. This is a must and, though I always think I hate cottage cheese, it has actually become my favorite part of the day. Hmmmm…..How many hours until bedtime????

With regard to exercise, he highly recommends ONLY very light workouts during the 21 days which, after the first “week from hell,” is difficult if you have a regular intense exercise routine. Last year we were able to hang in there but this time it seems a little harder to stay away from the gym so we may sneak in a workout here and there but just keep it less intense. As with everything else, there’s a method to his madness here and you just have to trust that he knows what he’s talking about. Super hard workouts are also stress inducing to the body (the old “being chased by a lion” illustration) and his main point is to settle down those adrenals and give your liver a rest. And as the saying goes, “If your liver ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” That’s how I remember it anyway…😏.

I suggest dropping the $12 on his book for a fuller explanation if you're intrigued. It’s a bit chatty (hey, I resemble that remark) so I read some sections in great detail and skimmed quickly over others. The full 21-day reset plan is included, which you will need, with lots of recipe suggestions so it’s worth it just for that. Other than this, there are no special products or supplements necessary, which is yet another reason I like this program (#eatrealfood). We have found it easier to take some of the meals we normally eat and tweak them to fit the plan if they don’t fit already, mostly because we’re so out of it the first week that the thought of cooking something for the first time is beyond the realm of possibility. If you’re planning to do this and would like some of our suggestions for super easy and tasty meals, I’d be happy to share some ideas with you.

If you decide to do it, go for it with gusto and DO NOT CHEAT. This is super critical and has been my downfall with other reset plans (Whole 30, for example). I've always put my own spin on them (I'll do everything but this one or two or three things). This plan is super specific about what to eat and when to eat it, which for me has been the kicker. And...it's ONLY 21 days. Seriously, you have nothing to lose but a few lbs. And they're always waiting in the wings right there just within sight #stageright if you want them back....

Cheers to good health!